I was reminded at work the other day of an incident many years ago that happened at a place of employment. This story is a bit irreverent and details some improper business practices but I will tell it here anyway.
It has been about a decade now since I worked at this particular place of business. At the time I was the night shift supervisor with about a dozen or so employees under my care. Most of the employees were younger people and didn’t take the job seriously and to be honest I probably didn’t too much either.
One of guys that worked for me, we will call him Billy (mostly because I cannot remember his name) had this super sweet watch. It was a Rolex knock-off with a big red face. It was beautiful and I wanted it badly. I asked him how much it would take for me to buy that watch from him.
“It isn’t for sale.”
Now being that Billy was about 19 or so years old he was unaware that everything was for sale. I had to just let him know it and figure out what his price was. I happened to know that Billy, he being of the young, red-blooded, horny American young man persuasion, had a crush on another one of my employees. She will be dubbed Lisa. Lisa was also young and was thin and super hot.
After several days of berating Billy about the watch I decided to try a different plan of action. I mentioned that I would be willing to attempt to get Lisa to go out with him or something comparable to that in exchange for the watch. This interested Billy so I went over to talk to Lisa.
Lisa wasn’t interested. I thought I had hit the wall. I told Billy that she didn’t want to go out with him but maybe I could think of something else to trade. He proceeded to tell me that the only thing other than a date with Lisa he would accept for his watch would be for a pair of her panties.
Okay so let that one sink in a bit. I was a supervisor and he wanted me to ask her for her drawers. It was bad enough that I suggested a date. I really wanted that watch though. So I went for it. One day out in the parking lot I approached Lisa. I explained to her the situation regarding the watch and I warned her that I was about to ask her something that some people may find offensive and if that was okay with her that I proceeded. She said it was.
When I asked her she gave an odd look and didn’t say no. She thought a minute, the smart girl that she was, and started plotting to use this to her advantage. She proceeded to tell me that she wanted something in return. I had to give her a day off. That was it. No cash or anything weird, just a day off. The only issue with that was she didn’t have vacation. I pulled a few strings and…done!
Long story short, I obtained a bag from Lisa several days later that contained something lacy and t-backed. I walked them over to Billy and told him to “gimme my new watch!” You could imagine the look of shock and surprise on his face.
I still have this watch but the battery died and I am too cheap (lazy) to replace it plus I have that problem where my body’s electrical current messes up watches. Oh well. The lesson here is if there is something you really really must have just ask someone for their underwear. Hey it works!
** Just for the record, I wouldn’t dare do this now. In case you weren’t sure or anything. **
