How An Indoor Kitty Becomes An Outdoor Kitty

Maybe you remember that earlier in the year we obtained two kittens. Kittens are super adorable. I love kittens. The major problem with all kittens is that when they grow up they become cats. I hate cats. Unfortunately for me my wife loves cats and pretty much any living creature.

Since our kittens grew up into cats all I have pretty much done is bitch and complain about them. I have made myself known quite vocally in regards to how I wish they were gone and how they climb over everything and get into too much stuff, etc. This really annoys me.

One of our cats (Paige) more than the other (Piper) tends to cause a majority of the ruckus. She climbs the entertainment center and knocks stuff off. She climbs the curtains bending the rods. She jumps up and walks on our kitchen counters and the top of the refrigerator. She climbs on the fireplace mantle and dvd cabinet where there is no room for her and knocks stuff off.

I have complained and complained for months with my wife pretty much ignoring me. That is, she ignored me until this afternoon.

Normally when we get home from work my wife will unlock the door and let our pooch out to do his business and then begin the process of winding down and thinking about getting dinner ready. I usually drag up the rear, putting the trash bin in the back yard or getting the mail. Today I was a tad bit slower than usual and I am quite thankful. When I eventually walked in the house I heard banging and there was a general sense of pure anger hanging over the place.

As I peered into the door to see what was the matter I noticed my wife moving quite swiftly around the house. Something to my left caught my eye which immediately allowed my mind to grasp what was happening. It was an extrication.

My wife was stalking Paige like the Indians tracked buffalo. She had even managed to find her mittens as protection just in case she caught the fleeing cat. You see, Paige is also very dangerous. Once as I tried to pick her up, without any malice mind you, she attacked me biting my finger to the bone. I thought I would require stitches. The School Girl was making sure that she did not make this same mistake.

Eventually I joined in the hunt and together we caught poor Miss Paige. My wife took her outside and placed her on the back porch slamming the door behind. As of this moment Paige is still outside and I think she is loving it. She always seemed like the one that wanted to go play outside. Piper would prefer a nap curled up on a pillow.

I think that this new living arrangement may stick. Even though my wife feels terrible to the point of tears for tossing the cat out of doors I think she realizes that it is for the best. How much other stuff may happen? So I am sure you are wondering what exactly the cat did? Here you go:

It was my wife’s favorite vase. No there wasn’t any sentimental value and it was not a super expensive piece but I think it was just the whole idea that we wouldn’t be able to have anything nice anymore as long as Paige was indoors. And that is how an indoor cat becomes an outdoor cat. Voila!