So I have been a bad blogger as of late. It was a very busy weekend (photos to be posted soon) and I just didn’t feel like writing anything yesterday. I do feel compelled to relay an amusing story.
This past Friday the moon, according to the lunar calendar, was approximately three-quarters full. Unfortunately for me I saw it at one and a quarter. How is that possible? Obviously, the moon can’t be more than full but things out of our hands can make it seem as such.
It was around the 8 o’clock hour Friday night when the wife and I decided to wander outside to have a smoke. I followed behind her as Fandango led the way. Luckily, Little Harry was holed up in his bedroom and was not privy to the disaster about to befall us. With our pooch’s nose squarely pressed against the glass and The School Girl’s grip firmly on the handle I gazed wide-eyed through the door. Instantly, I grimaced, threw up in my mouth a little bit and stopped her from advancing.
“Let’s go out the back door,” I exclaimed, shuddering.
There was a look of confusion on my wife’s face but she acquiesced and we made our way through the house towards the back door and the somewhat hidden yard beyond. It was at this juncture that I had to explain my actions.
For this to make a little sense to all of you I will have to rewind a tad. The house directly across the street from us is a rental. It has been that way for a couple of years now ever since one of the Mrs. Georges moved into assisted living. You see, the house directly across and the one just to the left of that had been occupied by two totally unrelated Mrs. Georges since the mid-60s. Interesting right? Anyway, to continue:
The rental house has recently just been rented to a young man and possibly one or two other people. Lately a woman, possibly in her late 20s has been visiting to the point of moving in. I have not bothered to meet these people as I assume that they will not be there for any length of time. Well this woman is a tad bit on the chunky side. I can say that being an overweight guy myself and it appears from that distance that she has me beat by almost a big bill (100 lbs.).
For one reason or another this lady found the ever increasing hour of the night, during severe darkness, to be the perfect time to set out Halloween decorations. Among the items were several un-scary things that were set on the porch as well as little creepy ghost-like figures that were displayed along the front walkway. It was at the moment of the final placement, near the street and the mailbox, that we happened upon our front door. This girl, wearing loose, baggy pants, proceeded to bend completely at the waist at which point the waist band failed her and her breeches slid ever so quickly towards earth exposing at least half of her bare, white buttocks!
Some people would be quick to grab their waistband and help defy gravity; however, this lady was not so shy. She was sure to place her item in its proper place before rescuing us all from the frightening sideways smile that was her butt-crack. Luckily, this image did not become burned into my eyes or ingrained into my brain. I think if our neighbors are still here at Christmas time, I will buy her a belt.
