“O” Is For Out Of Time?

Last night the wife and I met up with the G-Man family for dinner and our normal Franklin routine: coffee and hours at the book store. I perused the mystery section and came across Sue Grafton which posed a question in my brain…

What the hell will she write about after she gets finished with the letter “z”?

Now, I have never read her books and I am sure they are great but I bet coming up with those titles can get old after all of these years. I bet she won’t won’t have to worry too much about what she will write after but IF she can make it to the end of the alphabet. I mean, really, the chick is pushing 70!

Not to be mean or anything, I’m just saying…

Spelling Fail

The other day I took the wife to have Chinese food over at a place called Fusion Cuisine. It is pretty tasty stuff and quite inexpensive. Now to fully understand what is going on here you must know that our local Kroger, as I am sure your Kroger does too, prints coupons on the backs of the receipts. Recently they had been printing a discount at the Fusion Cuisine for $1.00 off of the buffet but the genius who created it just made it as follows:

$1 Buffet.

I am sure that the Fusion people freaked so Kroger was nice enough to write a sign for the restaurant explaining their error. This is what they got:

Initially this was to be titled “Engrish Fail” but after a bit more scrutinizing of the sign I realized it was an error on Kroger’s part and not the Chinese restaurant.

Why is it so much fun now to find spelling errors in public places and show the world? I hope it never ends.

By the way, it freaks me out to post this and think I may have spelled something wrong…

Search Engine Terms 5

It has been more than 7 months since I posted some of the search engine terms that people use to get to this here blog. In the past these have been downright frightening. Today I expect no less.

freak boobs
hit in the testicles
titties and beer
boys peeing
walmart hell
how racist is tennessee?
3 testicles
boobs and trucks
oooh that smell
mailman a douche bag
dead teen girl
cat balls
camo bikini
smake tattoo
kama sutra beastiality
penis cut off
black man peeing
a rod wang
living up to my wife’s expectations
picking a lock

So here is my take on it all. The guy that was searching for “living up to my wife’s expectations”, I sort of feel bad for the guy. I bet he is sad. The rest of the stuff is pretty straight forward creepy stuff. I’ll let you sort it all out for yourselves.

My Fourth Of July Weekend

Yeah, I know, I am late on this one. You’ll get over it.

What did I do on my 4th of July weekend? Well there was a little of this:

There was also a bit of this:

There was a short afternoon trip to The Trace:

Obviously, there were fireworks and family:

And then there was me showing my ass in public because I sometimes will revert back to my old bad person self when I get angry or feel slighted.

Now to set this up you have to know that my in-laws have a small house in W’boro. My brother-in-law, El Capitan, was visiting from Washington state and everyone was coming down to visit with him. It was decided that we would get a hotel room just down the street and so would The School Girl’s sister and her family just to alleviate the overcrowding issues.

We got to the new-ish hotel and checked in for our one night stay. They charged us a respectable $59.00 for the evening. The room was as clean as could be expected. I was a tad bit disappointed to discover; however, that not only did we not have a mini-fridge (to chill the beers) but we were without a microwave or even a table. Sheesh, what kind of joint are they running here? Oh well, at least there was a large flat panel television.

When we got back to my mother-in-law’s house, everyone was there including my wife’s sister and her husband, Randy Marsh. We were discussing the accomodations as they were also staying at the same hotel that we were staying. We talked about the price and about how it was nice to have such a cool television…then how he had a fridge and a microwave! Uhh, err, excuse me?

Not too long after I jumped into my car and motored over to visit with the young lady that was running the desk at this hotel. To paint the picture, this girl was mid-to late 20s and bit unclean looking and covered in piercings. I marched in and asked her about why my room was missing the ammenities that I required. The girl assured me that the rooms on the bottom floor (where Randy Marsh’s room was) were more posh than the top floor rooms (where we were staying) and that he was paying $69.00 per night instead of my rate of $59.00 per night. I, of course, put the kibosh on that and informed her that he was not paying that rate but the same as me. She looked it up in the computer and sure enough I was correct.

Her next attempt at getting me to leave was to let me know that her boss had booked the reservation and that is why Randy Marsh’s room was better and cheaper. I then asked her whom it was that booked my reservation. Guess what? Same guy. So I asked her if there were any other excuses that she could invent to explain the discrepancy. Her response?

“I guess he just got lucky.”

She refused to make any reparations towards me in regards to the room. She told me that I could just call on Monday and talk to the manager. That was it. I took a business card and proceeded to let her know that 1) they must have pierced her brain when putting in all those metal studs and 2) she was a fucking moron and then I left.

We were a tad bit afraid that our stuff would get tossed out of the room after those comments but everything was fine. I never bothered to call. Why? Well, anytime to speak to people from that town and that county that is a stranger to me I tend to lose IQ points. It is the poorest and most redneck town in the area and I have decided to separate myself from it as much as possible. I just want to warn you that if you need to stay in Wayne County in Tennessee DO NOT stay at the Hurricane Inn for any reason.

To relax a bit here are a few videos of Lower Glenrock on The Trace:

And one video of fireworks:

Now I feel better. Only because I haven’t mentioned canoeing, or falling into the Buffalo River and injuring myself or getting incredibly sunburned…