My Inner Child Complains A Lot (’Bout Cutting Grass)

I’m going to be honest here. When I was a kid I hated cutting the lawn. Okay, in the essence of true honesty I am still not a big fan of mowing the grass. Now there were times back in the day that for one reason or another our neighbor would encroach on our property and cut a little bit more yard than what I knew to be theirs. This always bugged me. My Pops would always tell me not to worry about it. We knew what property was ours and if he wanted to cut it then that would be less that I had to cut. This was genious, really. I never really stopped getting annoyed, though.

Fast forward to my adulthood. Okay, so fast forward to right effing now. Our neighbors, the nurse and his wife…let’s be honest here, they are odd nuts. I am sure that people think we are odd nuts so if they read this it isn’t a lap in the face but just a reality check. We get it, we are weird, we live with it. Learn to do that same. Anyway, when they moved into their house next door over a year ago there was this big, ugly, dilapidated fence. I loved that fence. Why? Well, it kept out noise and animals and it kept us from having to always watch our neighbors and not to mention it gave us some privacy.

The neighbors are apparently big yard salers and have their garage packed to the brim with, well, shit. Oddly enough, every weekend they have to completely empty all of this…shit…into the driveway for everyone to see it. They move it around then move it back inside by the end of the weekend. They also will stay outside incessantly. I think if they could find a safe way to completely live in their driveway and on their porch I am sure they would do it.

Now most of this stuff I can overlook and not have much of a problem with but they took down the damn fence! Arrghh!. That has been several months now and we get the pleasure of seeing everything they do. Everything! I know it sounds like I am being a big baby and well you’d be correct.

For a little bit more background before I hit the main reason for my bitching session, I have not been cutting my grass every week like I should. My main reason is not because I hate it, but I do. It isn’t because I am lazy, but I am. It isn’t even to stay away from my neighbors, but I do want to do that as well. It is because I am cheap. That’s right, cheap…frugal…thrifty, whatever you want to call it I can be miserly. Gas, as we all know is $4 billion dollars per gallon right now and I just don’t want to spend what little cash I have on gasoline for my stupid lawnmower.

Okay, so you follow me in my cheapness. A few weeks ago my other neighbor, the old guy, had his grandson cut his lawn. The kid mowed into our yard. To be fair, the line of demarkation is a bit ambiguous. This did not bother me. I get the feeling that he just wants to make the line of grass near his yard a bit cleaner and/or he is just helping a young bloke out. Either way, the guy is a war hero and he can do what he wants. He’s a damn good character.

The border between our yard and the nurse’s yard; however, is much more exact and permanent. When we bought the house back in January of 2004, we had to sign some sort of addendum that shows we acknowledge and agree that the previous owner’s of our house had ceded a tiny chunk of land to the people that lived in the nurse’s house prior to him buying it. The reason it was ceded to them was because they had built a new concrete drive and it impeded on what would become our property. I was cool with that because, hell, there was a fence to block us.

Well now that fence is down as I mentioned and I get a tad bit territorial with that tiniest of pieces of land. I feel encroached upon. Anyway, today as I drove up my street I passed the nurse’s house and directly in front of my own yard on our left then halted rather quickly causing The School Girl to ask what was the matter. Do you know what the matter was? I’ll tell you what the matter was. The matter was (and is) that they had cut a large strip of my grass that bordered their drive way (that originally was my land) and my side lawn. Sure I hadn’t cut my grass in two weeks and it is starting to look a bit grubby but I feel trespassed.

Some might say they were helping out a bit. If they wanted to help why not cut the whole damn thing? Is it wrong to bitch about this? I don’t think I am being totally childish and whiney. I mean they took a piece of lawn equipment without my prior knowledge or consent and removed part of my lawn. Sure it is a bit extreme to say it that way but those grass blade tips were mine. Okay, that does sound a bit stupid. I was mildly considering cutting the lawn today but that just finalized that I was putting it off for one more day.

How would you feel if your neighbor left a mark proving they had been in your yard and not say anything about it? Where else do they travel in my yard? Would they sit on my porch when I am not home? I seriously doubt it but what is stopping them? I mean they have already breached the property so who is to say that the worst is yet to come? If this continues I may have to get my daddy to go say something….

Sorry for rambling.