Mid Year Book Round Up

The end of the first half of 2008 is upon us. As some of you know I like to read and think that I do it more than the average person. I enjoy it as a means of relaxation and to gain knowledge and to keep the old imagination in tip-top condition. Last year I managed to read a lot more books than I could ever remember cruising through in the past. According to my handy dandy list, I read 25 books in 2007. My goal for 2008 was not an actual number but just to try to surpass the previous year. At the half way mark of this year I have stumbled my way through completing 18 books and I am currently reading two others.

The list is currently over to the right —> but I will list them here for the two or three of you that scan my site through a feed reader:

A Long Way Down – Nick Hornby

All Souls: A Family Story From Southie – Michael Patrick MacDonald

The Amber Room – Steve Berry

Big Trouble – Dave Barry

The Black Dahlia – James Ellroy

Blaze – Richard Bachman (Stephen King)

Charleston – John Jakes

Dave Barry’s History Of The Millenium (So Far) – Dave Barry

Images Of The Beatles – Tim Hill

The Last Templar – Raymond Khoury

Let Me Tell You A Story – Red Auerbach & John Feinstein

Letters From Nuremberg – Senator Christopher J. Dodd with Larry Bloom

The Life And Times Of The Thunderbolt Kid – Bill Bryson

Night – Elie Wiesel

Paul Revere’s Ride – David Hackett Fischer

The Power And The Glory – Graham Greene

The Romanov Prophecy – Steve Berry

Why So Many Gods? – Tim Baker

Okay so that was my list of books that I managed to finish in the last six months. The list contains fiction and non-fiction, history and biography, and even a book mainly of photographs. No, that isn’t really cheating if there are paragraphs of actual words in there and as long as I don’t do it regularly it is okay and hey, it’s The Beatles for crying out loud.

I am also currently reading two other books. The first is what I call my regular reading book and the other is my…umm…bathroom book.

The Story Of The Confederacy – Robert Selph Henry

The Rolling Stone Encyclopedia Of Rock & Roll, 3rd Edition – Holly George-Warren & Patricia Romanowski

Not too shabby a list I think. I should try to throw in a few classic this year and I am sure that I will buy and borrow several more. I know the next eight books I am going to read and I’m pretty hyped to get to them. Now, simmple math with tell you that I will exploed pass last year’s record output but history tells me that I will slow down. Something always get me tripped up. I believe that I am already to that point since my current book has taken me well over two weeks to get only half way through. Maybe it’s because I know how it ends…THE SOUTH LOSES! There I spoiled it for you all.

Anyway, of those of you who read my drivel and feel the need to comment (more comments and commenters would be nice…I’m just saying) do you read a lot? What prompts you to read and what kind of stuff do you usually gravitate towards? Just curious.

Things I Found On My Computer At Work

The other day while at work I was looking through our shared network folder on the computer for some file or form or something that I needed. I noticed that there was an image file tucked neatly inside and I became curious. Generally, there would be no need to have an image file in which everyone on our team would require access. So I clicked. Boy, was I a bit surprised and quite amused. There was this photograph of a fellow co-worker you might remember from this story as the foot powder guy:

This is not amusing because it is an extreme close-up of a cheesy grinned fellow on his motorcycle riding on what appears to be a ferry or something. What I really notice and get full amusement from the picture is the couple in the white car behind him. Sure you notice the tool pushing his baby through the sun roof but if you click on the picture and take a closer look at the woman in the passenger seat…yeah, it appears that she is watching him take this self-portrait while sucking on a baby’s pacifier. What the heck? Wow, people are bizarr-o!

It is stuff like this amusing picture and his faux-rube sense of humor that I will miss most about ol’ Patty McGee…that and how he does a lot of my work for me. Have fun in South America on your mission, bud.

Now in the process of attempting to turn the above photograph into my work computer’s wallpaper I noticed that there was another image in the My Pictures folder on my desktop. Again, curiosity prevailed as my cube neighbor, Nelson, and I peered towards my screen. This is what we found:

What I noticed first is that this woman has a sort of exotic hotness factor going on. Nelson mentioned she looked like a lady he used to know back in the day that he would give dollar bills to on occassion. The most glaring thing that I noticed was that I had no friggin’ idea who this person was. This is not a current employee of my financial institution in which I am employed or anyone I can remember having worked here in the four years that I have been at this location. No clues whatsoever. I wonder why she is on my computer? Do you think her name begins with the letter “A“?

If you know this girl or if you are this girl, please comment. I’d be interested to know why you sit with me at my desk all day long.

Reason #42 Why I Like Living Outside Of Nashville

By the way, there are not reasons numbered 1 through 41 at this point it just sounds cooler and it is the answer to life, the universe, and everything.

When I lived in Nashville or any other concrete jungle I never woke up early in the morning to see guests of these type standing in my backyard. This morning, however, I did:

Only 30 more years until I retire to Montana or Maine or somewhere I can see this sort of thing more often and that I can’t be found…that also has a high speed internet connection.

My Inner Child Complains A Lot (‘Bout Cutting Grass)

I’m going to be honest here. When I was a kid I hated cutting the lawn. Okay, in the essence of true honesty I am still not a big fan of mowing the grass. Now there were times back in the day that for one reason or another our neighbor would encroach on our property and cut a little bit more yard than what I knew to be theirs. This always bugged me. My Pops would always tell me not to worry about it. We knew what property was ours and if he wanted to cut it then that would be less that I had to cut. This was genious, really. I never really stopped getting annoyed, though.

Fast forward to my adulthood. Okay, so fast forward to right effing now. Our neighbors, the nurse and his wife…let’s be honest here, they are odd nuts. I am sure that people think we are odd nuts so if they read this it isn’t a lap in the face but just a reality check. We get it, we are weird, we live with it. Learn to do that same. Anyway, when they moved into their house next door over a year ago there was this big, ugly, dilapidated fence. I loved that fence. Why? Well, it kept out noise and animals and it kept us from having to always watch our neighbors and not to mention it gave us some privacy.

The neighbors are apparently big yard salers and have their garage packed to the brim with, well, shit. Oddly enough, every weekend they have to completely empty all of this…shit…into the driveway for everyone to see it. They move it around then move it back inside by the end of the weekend. They also will stay outside incessantly. I think if they could find a safe way to completely live in their driveway and on their porch I am sure they would do it.

Now most of this stuff I can overlook and not have much of a problem with but they took down the damn fence! Arrghh!. That has been several months now and we get the pleasure of seeing everything they do. Everything! I know it sounds like I am being a big baby and well you’d be correct.

For a little bit more background before I hit the main reason for my bitching session, I have not been cutting my grass every week like I should. My main reason is not because I hate it, but I do. It isn’t because I am lazy, but I am. It isn’t even to stay away from my neighbors, but I do want to do that as well. It is because I am cheap. That’s right, cheap…frugal…thrifty, whatever you want to call it I can be miserly. Gas, as we all know is $4 billion dollars per gallon right now and I just don’t want to spend what little cash I have on gasoline for my stupid lawnmower.

Okay, so you follow me in my cheapness. A few weeks ago my other neighbor, the old guy, had his grandson cut his lawn. The kid mowed into our yard. To be fair, the line of demarkation is a bit ambiguous. This did not bother me. I get the feeling that he just wants to make the line of grass near his yard a bit cleaner and/or he is just helping a young bloke out. Either way, the guy is a war hero and he can do what he wants. He’s a damn good character.

The border between our yard and the nurse’s yard; however, is much more exact and permanent. When we bought the house back in January of 2004, we had to sign some sort of addendum that shows we acknowledge and agree that the previous owner’s of our house had ceded a tiny chunk of land to the people that lived in the nurse’s house prior to him buying it. The reason it was ceded to them was because they had built a new concrete drive and it impeded on what would become our property. I was cool with that because, hell, there was a fence to block us.

Well now that fence is down as I mentioned and I get a tad bit territorial with that tiniest of pieces of land. I feel encroached upon. Anyway, today as I drove up my street I passed the nurse’s house and directly in front of my own yard on our left then halted rather quickly causing The School Girl to ask what was the matter. Do you know what the matter was? I’ll tell you what the matter was. The matter was (and is) that they had cut a large strip of my grass that bordered their drive way (that originally was my land) and my side lawn. Sure I hadn’t cut my grass in two weeks and it is starting to look a bit grubby but I feel trespassed.

Some might say they were helping out a bit. If they wanted to help why not cut the whole damn thing? Is it wrong to bitch about this? I don’t think I am being totally childish and whiney. I mean they took a piece of lawn equipment without my prior knowledge or consent and removed part of my lawn. Sure it is a bit extreme to say it that way but those grass blade tips were mine. Okay, that does sound a bit stupid. I was mildly considering cutting the lawn today but that just finalized that I was putting it off for one more day.

How would you feel if your neighbor left a mark proving they had been in your yard and not say anything about it? Where else do they travel in my yard? Would they sit on my porch when I am not home? I seriously doubt it but what is stopping them? I mean they have already breached the property so who is to say that the worst is yet to come? If this continues I may have to get my daddy to go say something….

Sorry for rambling.

Holy Sh!t, George Carlin’s F*#king Dead!

We have lost one of the true original kings of comedy this past weekend. I know that I am a little late on this one but I had to say something.

I really enjoyed George Carlin’s brand of comedy. Nothing was off limits or taboo and he told it like it was. He was crass and vulgar but he had a purpose and that is what made him better than just about every comedian on the planet. I have been known to be that way myself I have been told. You’re gonna be missed you sunovabitch.

Here is one of my favorite Carlin movie spots from “Jay And Silent Bob Strike Back” (look at about the 4 1/2 minute mark of this clip):

Weekend Relaxation? Part 2

I got up late this morning over at the in-law’s place. As part of my waking up process I grabbed a cup of coffee and my book and headed for the front porch swing. I was really starting to get into reading when I noticed that some birds kept flying into the hanging plants in front of me. They were chirping quite angrily. Squak squak squak! Apparently their babies live in the damn plants. These babies were also chirping wildly. I tried to put this noise out of my head. Chirp chirp chirp!

My pooch, Fandango, was also outside with me and he was wearing a hole in the wooden porch walking back and forth. Tap tap tap tap…tap tap tap tap…etc. A few minutes later a hornet decided it wanted in on the action and kept dive-bombing me. Bzzz bzzz bzzz! Yikes. I am trying to read here.

Eventually I was able to put these noises out of my mind. Then I lost it. The house across the street, the one who raises hound dogs came into the battle. What seemed like a billion and seven hound dogs, must have seen or heard something to get up their backside and when ballistic. Arff arff arff! Oh my God! That did it for me.

I went inside and watched “Irma La Douce” at that point. I mean who doesn’t love Jack Lemmon?

Weekend Relaxation?

The School Girl and I headed down to W’boro to visit with the in-laws. I like heading down there from time to time since it is in the middle of nowhere and tends to be relaxing and quiet. We usually will have some very stimulating conversations, watch great old movies and I can sit outside on the porch and drink a beer, smoke a cigarette and read. Very nice stuff.

Well my mother-in-law, Oma, works on Saturday evenings over here. The wife decided to go visit her there since she would be getting off only an hour or two later and we could get a bit of conversation started before the night melted completely away. After a couple of hours it was about time for her to get off work but she needed to check on a couple of things first. I decided to head back to the homestead alone.

The drive is approximately four miles away but I have issues with remembering specifics in W-County for some odd reason. I went ahead and jumped in my car with the windows rolled down. It was a beautiful night last night and I enjoyed the cool breeze in my face. I thought I would go ahead and turn the radio on lightly as I cruised the last couple of miles. Rock legend Tom Petty was on the station. I really dig his music, especially the older stuff.

When Petty started to sing my mind began to drift. It was dark outside and I was driving alone. It gets pretty eerie in these little podunk towns in the summer after dark. I started to think back to that scene at the beginning of “Silence Of The Lambs” where the girl who get abducted is cruising alone down the street blasting “American Girl” by the aforementioned Mr. Petty. That kinda creeped me out…I turned off the radio. Quickly.

I panicked for a second when I lost my way, too. I only had to drive four stupid miles. I need to stop watching horror flics and/or reading scary novels.

All Those Years? In A Row?

Everyone’s favorite couple and our best friends, G-Man & SueBoo, are celebrating their eleventh wedding anniversary today. Holy crap, it can’t have been that long ago that ya’ll got married. Dang are we getting old or what?

We wish you dozens more happy years together. We love you guys.

Try not to have too much sexy-time today. Hehehe.

I Don’t Think This Is A Bathroom Item

This afternoon I walked into the men’s room at work to do, well, ya know, men stuff in there. I cruised right on past the sinks and headed to a urinal. I finished my business and headed over to the previously mentioned row of sinks. I started to reach my hand into the bowl of the sink and I noticed something in there.

Immediately I jumped back not quite knowing what was in the sink. All I could do is shake my head in disgust. This was just one of many things that my disbelief coworkers manage to do in the lavatory. Who drops a lemon in the sink, I mean really?

I am not sure why any of this surprises me. These people get more pee on the floor than in the urinal. They wipe boogers on the walls. Last week someone had just about toilet papered the entire handicap stall after dropping butt nuggets all over the place. Why are people so effing nasty?

What The Mailman Brought Me

Today in my mailbox I had one single, solitary piece of mail:

I was a bit embarrassed since my mailman is actually a mailwoman. Oh well, I am over it. Man is that a good deal or what? Even my wife thinks so. It’s hard to turn down a good deal, and Hef took the time to send it to me…

Bad Blogger

So minus my little blurb on the Celtics winning the NBA championship I have definitely been a very bad blogger. It isn’t that I haven’t had anything to say, it’s just that I haven’t felt the urge to sit here and type. I got a bit lazy and didn’t feel like vying for computer time with the wife. So let’s bullet point some of the things that have been going on:

– In the week and a half time span that I managed to write two blog posts my good friend Newscoma has pumped out a whopping 63 posts! Yes, I am pretty sure that I have read them all…

– My feed reader has blown up to well over 200 posts that I needed to read even though I tried keeping up at work…

– We have finally decided on names for our kittens. Are you ready? I know we teased the Doctor Who angle but went in another sci-fi direction: Harry Catter & Hermeownie. Yeah, I’m a dork.

– I wondered openly about tipping my Pizza Hut delivery guy. I suppose that my buddy Chef Stu can speak on this since he used to deliver stuff and is the most knowledgeable guy I know who works in the food industry. If they add $2.00 to my total when they deliver my pizza versus me going to get it does that constitute a tip?

– I started writing this little ditty about my odd eating habits and stopped. Here is what I got finished:

The School Girl thinks some of my eating habits are a bit strange. Is it strange that I tend to pile everything together and mix it all up? Is it odd to put condiments such as steak sauce or refried beans on pizza? Does anyone think it odd that I am turning most meals into burritos these days: chicken, eggs, ravioli, beefaroni?

Doesn’t everyone like tartar sauce on their french fries? or mixed vegetables on their Sloppy Joes? or use cream of chicken/mushroom/celery soup on their pasta?

– The wife and I hung out last weekend with a bunch of our favorite peeps: G-Man, SueBoo, Cool Ronald, Heidi-O, Momma Dubs, et al. Here are a couple of pics:

– I visited my own Pops for Father’s Day, of course. Here are a couple of pics from that day, showing off Pops’ new toy:

– Brother-in-Law, El Capitan, made his trek home from 14 months in Iraq. Hooray for making it home safely…again! There might just be a canoeing trip in our future.

– I took these random pictures with my cell phone:

Boredom at the Wal-Mart pet center.

Sugar Bear & Sweet Pea showing love at lunch time.

Lady Shaq drops grapes at work. I pointed and laughed.

It’s too pretty to be inside working.

– I got back in touch via Facebook with a couple of gal pals I hung out with back in the day. The internet is a powerful tool. (I said ‘tool’! hehehe).

– Finally, I changed my MySpace song to a new track from The Black Crowes. By the way, if you want to be added as a friend on either of the previously mentioned social networking sites click on Gather ‘Round And Hear ‘Bout Myself up on the top right.

P.S. : Here is a video (more of an inside joke) for Nelson at the jobsite.

So does this catch me up and make me a good blogger again? I hope so.

17

I hope Heaven can deal with a little cigar smoke tonight as I know Red Auerbach has lit up another one.

I am giddy as a little girl as my Boston Celtics have won the NBA Championship for the 17th time. I thought I would never see them win another one but I have been blessed in the world of sports this decade. Excuse me while I dab my eyes….

Musical Discoveries

Those of us out there that are huge music fans just love to find new bands to follow. I think it is so awesome to come across an unsigned or obscure band on YouTube or MySpace. Well the other day my work neighbor, Nelson, and I were talking about some of our favorite bands. He mentioned Emerson, Lake & Palmer then I countered with Yes; he came back with Iron Butterfly and I hit him with Pink Floyd. These little conversations we have are turning into an almost daily ritual. Well this particular day he poses this question to me:

“Have you ever heard of The Tiger Lillies?”

Of course, I had not so I was intrigued. I have just now remembered to sit down and search for these guys on the ol’ inter-web and I found this little gem:

Is this not pure, unadulterated crap? Yes, I think it is. Now, to be honest Nelson never said they were any good but just “interesting”. They are that, sir.

Around the same time another co-worker of mine, McButters had me listen to another band. This one was much more palatable to say the least. She prefaced to me that this was kind of a joke song about the movie The Karate Kid. I have to be honest, this isn’t my type of music generally but this tune was pretty good. It amused the crap out of me and was quite nostalgic all at the same time. Go watch this band called No More Kings singing their first single, “Sweep The Leg“:

Finally, with the heat being at 92 million degrees lately I felt it necessary to share my all-time favorite summer song, DJ Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince’s “Summertime“:

Ahh, remember when rap didn’t suck horribly? You know this is a great song. Anyway, that’s all I got for today.

We Could Use A Little Help (A Post About Kittens)

Yesterday after work The School Girl and I traveled across town to my sister-in-law’s house and had a little dinner with the in-law family. My sister-in-law has a female cat that lives in their garage/outbuilding that seems to always be having kittens that they are always giving away. I think we are always the first to decline. I am not a big cat person.

To me cats are annoying when they get older. Sure when they are kittens they are adorable and fun but then they grow up. At this point they develop the “cat attitude”. Also, with all of our kitties that have come up missing (I think our backyard neighbor shoots them – he raises pigeons & doves), any new cat would need to be indoor animals and that mean the litter box. Yuck!

Well, last evening the wife was in the garage over at the sister-in-law’s playing with these kittens. I believe that there are 5 at this point. She showed me the one that she liked and I told her that I actually preferred another one hoping to discourage her asking to keep one. In my infinite wisdom I also suggested that anyone who takes one should take two so that they wouldn’t be lonely. I thought that this would also help discourage new family members….

Anyway, long story short meet our two new kittens:

When we brought them home our pooch Fandango thought they were great. I am sure he thought we brought him home some new friends. The problem now is that he is jealous and a bit upset that the kitties will not play with him. He will be okay once they warm up to him.

The big dilema at this point is naming these balls of fur. Currently we are refering to them as Kitty #1 and Kitty #2. We have some names picked out but are unsure of which way to go with them. This is where we ask for your assistance.

This little girl is who we refer to as Kitty #1:

Kitty #1 seems to be the friendlier of the two and more willing to wander about. The wife was thinking about calling her Keila (pronounced ‘key – lah’). I was thinking more along the lines of calling her Piper from the TV show Charmed. Another option was to go Doctor Who and call her Rose Tyler or just Rose.

This is the sister or Kitty #2:

Kitty #2 is more hesitant to warm up to us. She is less trusting and a bit more skittish. My wife was wanting to call her Nakeya (pronounced ‘nah – key – ah’). To follow my previous thought processes of Charmed or Doctor Who I thought Paige or Martha Jones or just Martha.

What do you think? Please give me/us your opinions on these names. It is about time to stop calling them generically. Besides, it will make it easier for their sad, lonely big brother, Fandango, who is just dying to play with them.

**UPDATE** – Kitty #1 may in fact be a boy kitty. Unfortunately we are not 100% sure at this time. We may have to go with The Doctor instead of Rose Tyler!

Statistics Galore

I was going through the statistics the other day of my little blogging home and found some things very interesting. I am always very interested in how many people read my junk and where they come from and what they click on when they are here, etc. Here is a list of these things over the last 365 days:

The blog site that I get the most referrers to my site over the past year is:

Scout About with a whopping 425 referrals so far. The next closest blog site is Music City Bloggers by almost 200 less. Thanks Scout for helping a brother out.

The search engine term that has referred people to my site the most is:

walmart automotive which with the 5th choice down using Google brings you to this little gem of a post called “Lewisburg Wal-Mart Automotive Center Sucks Balls (I’m Having A LeBlanc Day)“. The second place search engine term is Giada DeLaurentiis. Now that’s a good one.

When it comes to the most visited posts and/or pages on my blog, here is a list of the top 5:

1) The Artist Formerly Known As The School Girl from May 17, 2007 with 1,258 visits.

2) Lewisburg Wal-Mart Automotive Center Sucks Balls (I’m Having A LeBlanc Day) from September 25, 2007 with 1,243 visits.

3) Days Of Thunder, Part 2: Trucks And Tailgating from October 13, 2007 with 1,018 visits.

4) Dropping Names Like It’s Going Out Of Style from November 10, 2007 with 903 visits.

5) World Series Predictions from October 23, 2007 with 670 visits.

For those that are interested (I know that I was) the least popular or let’s call it least visited post is You Are Full Of Hot Air from June 16, 2007 with an outstanding 13 visits!

Next, we have the most clicked on links which shows what ya’ll are finding interesting to click on from my blog:

The most popular blog that people have visited is my buddy G-Man’s place, The Sometimes Sophomoric Hijinks Of The GMan.

The most popular Wikipedia page is for Buddy Holly.

Your favorite web page is Rolling Stone Magazine’s The Almost-Impossible Rock & Roll Quiz.

Interestingly enough, the favorite photograph that people have clicked on over the past year is this one of the World Series Trophy:

To finish off this post about all things stats related I will tell you that overall since I began this little nook of useless ramblings I call a blog 49,456 visits have been tallied with my best day having been December 3, 2007 which, for some reason, was the day that everyone wanted to read this post:

Sharpen Your #2 Pencils

that I posted on November 10, 2007. I have posted a total of 620 times (including this one that you are reading) and have had the pleasure of receiving 1,248 comments (some of which are mine but all are appreciated). It is a joy to not just write here and think of things to say but it is nice to know I am being read and even better when people are prodded to speak back. That is what makes this fun. Thanks for playing along.

I will now go back to lurking around your blogs…