Meet The New Boss, Same As The Old Boss

When I was a kid growing up in New England there were several constants on the sports front. The Patriots would be not very good, The Red Sox would break your heart and the Celtics would go to the NBA Finals. These were things that were foregone conclusions in the sports psyche of New Englanders. We were brought up to only expect these things.

Over the last seven to ten years there has been a shift in thinking. The Patriots would go to the Super Bowl, the Red Sox would compete with the Yankees for the World Series and the Celtics’ season would be in the tank after a week. After last season’s debacle where the boys in green managed to win a paltry 24 games and rumors were flying everywhere about as to which team they were going to trade long time star and their captain Paul Pierce something very interesting happened. On draft day in June they did something I didn’t think would matter in the grand scheme of things. They traded their first round pick for an aging Ray Allen. This was a guy who could shoot well and was a great free throw shooter and a potential leader for the young kids but not enough to make an amazing turn around.

Enter former Celtic legend and current Minnesota Timberwolves general manager Kevin McHale. A man who will always bleed green made a trade with the Celtics to send 10 time all-star Kevin Garnett to Boston. After a few more roster tweaks the mold was set.

This season my Celtics ran roughshod over the league winning the Atlantic Division by 25 games and 7 games over the NBA’s second best team, the Detroit Pistons. Fast forwarding to the playoffs, the Celts are the overall number one seed. There was a little concern when they were taken to a full seven games and couldn’t win on the road versus the Atlanta Hawks.. The same concerns were present against the LeBron James led Cleveland Cavaliers. Boston managed to persevere and make it to the Eastern Conference Finals against the previously mentioned Pistons.

Last night, however, was the culmination of a year’s worth of hard work and dedication. The Celtics, in only six games, managed to eliminate the Pistons and head to the finals. I stood (yes stood) in front of the television last night fidgeting like a little boy as the game neared the final buzzer. I rocked back and forth on my feet with the biggest grin I have had for something sports related in a very long time. I think that I reverted back to my 10 year old self. My Celtics had returned to their rightful place of prominence.

What makes this so sweet is having to suffer through a two decade long span of bad teams and bad luck and then finally winning. It is sweet to see the captain Paul Pierce finally earn a shot at hanging his number 34 in the rafters with the other Celtic greats of times past. What also makes this sweet is we get to play the Los Angeles Lakers in the finals just like we did back in the 80s as it should be. It seems that the planets have been realigned in the basketball world. I like to think that Red Auerbach, even though he left this world a couple of years ago, has a little something to do with that.

So I hope you all get to enjoy a classic NBA Finals of Lakers/Celtics because I know I will. I just hope I get to light me a victory cigar.

My Conversation With An Octogenarian

Today is my Great Uncle Don’s 81st birthday today. Eighty-one years old and still in great shape. He is one hell of a guy. I gave him a call down Florida way this evening to give my wishes. He was telling me about how he feels great and all that he has been up to:

Uncle Don: Oh yeah, I’ve been playing golf, doing some swimming, a little bowling. I’ have been keeping busy.

me: I hate to say it Uncle Don but you are way more active than I am. I get up, go to work, come home and relax on the couch.

Uncle Don: No, no, Brian. I have to keep moving. Otherwise they may start throwing dirt on me!

I got a huge chuckle out of that one but it just makes me think and then I get a little sad. I sure will be crushed when that guy does move on to a better place.

Well, Uncle Don, I raise my drink to you, sir and wish you at least 20 more! Never forget that you are not old but an antique and antiques are treasures. We all love you.

Best Joke I Have Heard In A Long Time

 Now I sent a few people this one but everytime I think about it I giggle more and more. I got a joke in an email from a former co-worker and (sorry to say) failed blogger that is just brilliant. It goes a little something like this:

Little Red Riding Hood is skipping thru the forest road when she sees the big bad wolf crouched down behind a log.

‘My, what big eyes you have, Mr. Wolf.’

The wolf jumps up and runs away.

Further down the road Little Red Riding Hood sees the wolf again and this time he is crouched behind a bush.

‘My what big ears you have, Mr. Wolf.’

Again the wolf jumps up and runs away.

About 1/4 mile down the road Little Red Riding Hood sees the wolf again and this time he is crouched down behind a rock.

‘My what big teeth you have Mr. Wolf.’

With that the wolf jumps up and screams, ‘Will you knock it off, I’m trying to poop!’

Man that just tickles the crap out of me (no pun intended)!

My Wife Is Deaf & A Smart @ss & Has Bad Taste In Music

There we were, the wife and I driving down I-65 headed to Marshall County like we do everyday. We were listening to these mix CDs that The School Girl had put together the other day. They contain some Breaking Benjamin, Sugarcult, some other stuff and The Cure. Two out of the three Cure songs she put on there were astonishingly mediocre.

I questioned the fact whether or not she actually listened to the songs prior to burning them. I think her answer was something to the effect that she had listened to the beginning of the songs and thought the music was okay so she added them. Alrighty then. This, of course, instigated another world famous conversation:

me: I’m more efficient at making CDs than you are.

The School Girl: You’re a ‘fishman’?

me: I said ‘I’m EFFICIENT’ not ‘I’m a FISHMAN’. That doesn’t even make sense. Like I’m that guy from the Super Friends or something…what’s his name?

me: Gill.

Oh my God, all I could do was shake my head. Gill. How terribly bad, and amusing. By the way, his name is Aquaman. Okay so anyway, moving on. The further we get into these CDs the more blah the music gets to me. Then out of nowhere this is played:

Oh for the love of all that is sacred. Is this what people call rock and roll? I mean the chick is singing opera for crying out loud! My ears started to bleed. I can’t even think of words that express how much I think this is not good…so I will make one up. Puketressant. Vomitatious. Okay, that was two. Your turn.

By the way, the band is called Nightwish or something retard-o like that. Oh well, sorry to dump on your musical taste babe, I still love you…obviously except for your ear for music.

I Have A Beatle Stuck In My Head

I have this little Paul McCartney ditty in my head right now. If it weren’t for this being a McCartney tune with the legendary David Gilmour on a killer guitar solo I would make fun of it terribly. The problem is (here it comes), I love this tune.

You know this song rules, shut up. *sniff*

Anyway, I never did see the movie that this came from but I heard it was horrible.

We Are Wizards

Okay so the wife and I were mulling around the inter-web, more specifically MySpace, the other night looking for new music. What we found is something that everyone needs to hear. This band is beyond explanation. I am giddy just thinking about an entire new genre of music that we discovered. It is mind blowing. Look I can’t talk about it anymore, go here and listen for yourself. Please run and go listen as this is music from God herself.

HURRY CLICK HERE!

or

CLICK HERE!

Oh my goodness right? You seriously loved that! I have never been more giddy than I am when listening to Potter-rock.

Pardon me as I go download “Save Ginny Weasley” and “Song For The Death Eaters“. Man do I love the internet.

It Was 20 Years Ago This Summer

A lot of times when the wife and I are conversing about pretty much anything I always find a way to make us both feel old. For example, we will be listening to the radio and a great song from say, I don’t know, The Outfield comes on and I will be like:

“Man that is a good song. Haven’t heard that one in a while. You know when that song came out? 1985! Holy crap, that was 23 years ago! Damn I feel old!“

Does anyone else do that? It really surprises me that all of this time has just rushed by me. I am still in awe over the fact that I just had my 34th birthday. That just does not compute. Well the other day I was doing this thing again with the years and how old stuff is when it occurred to me that this summer is a milestone for me of sorts. Twenty years ago this summer, my family moved from Hudson, New Hampshire all the way to Mt. Juliet, Tennessee.

I did not want to move. I was pissed about the thought of moving. There were all of my friends that I had known and I was about to start high school. We were going to a place where I knew NO ONE and everybody talked funny and there were going to be gun racks everywhere you looked, and a severe lack of teeth and shoes and not to mention the inbreeding! Oh my God what were my parents doing to me?

Yes, that is how lots of northerners (that’s spelled Y-A-N-K-E-E-S here in Tennessee) see the south. It is terribly incorrect but it is true. So anyway, I was rebelling against the move from the beginning. My parents and sister came down as soon as the school year was completed. I stayed up in New Hampshire with my grandparents and would come down later. I spent many weeks with them and hung out a bit with my best friend Keith. He had been my best buddy for a few years and I hated that I was leaving.

After a few weeks Keith and I flew down here to Tennessee to finish out the summer. I remember that year we did a bunch of swimming. We learned all the words to the following CDs/tapes: Lita Ford’s Lita, Def Leppard’s Hysteria, Poison’s Open Up And Say…Ahh! as well as Bon Jovi’s New Jersey. I went to my first concert that summer at Starwood (a moment of silence) which is no longer around. We saw a band called Blue Murder open up for the aforementioned Bon Jovi. We spent endless hours at Opryland (another moment of silence…why did we need another mall?) trying to pick up girls. I think Keith was successful once, but that didn’t surprise me. We also trekked to Mud Island and saw Graceland.

All of these activities were great to have a final blowout with my best friend and to get me to forget the impending doom of starting high school in a redneck town where I knew absolutely no one. Not a soul. I hated this place and nothing would ever change that. A funny thing is though, that eventually I did learn to like this place. Of course I was sad when I watched Keith fly back home and thought I would never have another best friend again. What did I know? I was a stupid 14 year old kid. Obviously, school was scary at first but I managed to make some good friends. There was Dave Dittrich. There was Jeff Anderson. Then there was Buckles who intoduced me to Shae who were both friends with the G-Man.

So when I think back about our move now 20 years ago (holy crap!) I think of it as a positive. Sure some less than pleasant stuff has gone on in my life over the last 20 years but honestly it isn’t Tennessee’s fault. It was all because I was a moron. If I hadn’t moved here I would have missed out on some good times that I wouldn’t trade for anything. Here are just a few reasons that Tennessee is the best place on earth (I can’t believe I just wrote that):

I know today is Memorial Day and maybe I should have written something about America or the military but this was more appropriate for me. I guess that I am, though. Without the dedication and love for freedom that some of my relatives (and yours) had for this country then I couldn’t be thankful for the things that I have. Anyway, even though 20 years ago I was dragged kicking and screaming to the land of Volunteers I couldn’t think of a better hunk of the US to have been stranded. I would just be a totally different person and I am pretty okay with the one I am right now.

Oh, and in case you don’t know anything by The Outfield take a listen to this:

Indiana Jones And The…WTF?

Before I get started, I have to warn you that there will be movie spoilers a bit further down…

Yesterday was my …ahem… 34th birthday. The wife and I woke up rediculously early, like in the 5 o’clock hour! Maybe I was just excited. Who knows. Well, we made it over to the G-Man’s house and started concocting our plan for the day.

We started the afternoon with a nice lunch at the Olive Garden. Little did I know that the ‘All-You-Can-Eat Soup, Salad & Breadsticks’ would be the death of me later. We hopped over to the Providence movie theatre and grabbed some last minute seats for the new Indiana Jones flic. We have been so excited about seeing this movie I just couldn’t stand it. I have always loved this franchise and to be forced to wait almost 20 years was just too much.

When we went to find our seats we were greeted to a throng of people. I wasn’t going to complain because hell, it was opening weekend…and my birthday. I had sort of made myself a promise to be in a great mood no matter what happened. My patience was definitely tried.

We managed to find 4 seats together about 3/4 of the way up and settled down mere moments before the previews started. This is about the time that Senor Douche, the guy in the group behind us, made his presence known. This guy was so effing annoying I just wanted to slap the shit out of him. He had a comment for EVERYTHING!

He about popped a woody for Hellboy 2. Come on dude, it is only Hellboy here. He scoffed at that Will Smith super hero movie: “Uhh, a drunk superhero?” You could hear his eyes rolling in his head…but mine were louder. The new movie with plastic-faced Nicole Kidman had the following piece of brilliant commentary: “She is pregnant, but you can’t tell here. You know, she is ‘with child‘.” Who the hell says ‘with child’ anymore in regular conversation?

Eventually, the movie started. I was so hyped! Okay so pay attention…

SPOILER ALERT TO FOLLOW

 

 

 

 

Uhh, the KGB in Nevada blasting their way into Area 51? Okay so in real life maybe they were able to get past the guard post but I mean is there no one else left to defend the base? Hello? Did anyone figure out the Shia LeBoeuf last week like I did? Of course you did. My yet to be thought of grandchildren saw that one coming. Aliens? Really? After 20 years all you could come up with was aliens? Oh please! Alright so I know that with most movies a suspension of reality is required. If I factor all that in and see everything I get the obligatory funny scenes which are a staple of the previous movies. I get pretty decent action. I get plot twists. We get the love story albeit one that we saw in the first movie just they are a lot older now. Even after all was said and done they had a chance to ‘pass the hat torch’ and let Indy’s son be the new Indiana Jones but nope.

For me it was my fourth favorite in the series. I would definitely say that it needs to be watched if you are a fan but wait until the DVD comes out.

 

 

END OF SPOILERS

Okay so during the movie either Senor Douchbag or one of cronies spent the whole time kicking my seat. Come to find out it wasn’t just my seat either but The School Girl’s, SueBoo’s and the G-Man’s. Once the movie was rolling the credits we decided to wait a minute to let the crowd dissipate. Senor Douchebag gets up to head back to his mom’s basement and starts another wonderful conversation with his buddies that began this way: “When I was in Peru…” Dude, shut the heck up! Oh and to top it all off…he was wearing the most spectacular of clothing accessories…a fanny pack!

We headed back to the homestead and decided to partake of a few adult beverages which is a must, right?

Anyway, we proceeded to go have some Japanese cuisine for the evening meal. I just love that stuff. Then a nice latte from Starbucks finished it all off. The rest of the evening consisted of silliness (words/phrases used included ‘puching the munchkin’ and ‘chocolate starfish’), some oderiferous emanations (someone made it smell like sewage) and this (click only if you are not a prude).

So, it was a low-key birthday but I am starting to feel like these aren’t really big deals anymore. I mean heck I have had over 30 of these things already but It was definitely nice to hang out with our friends again.

We’re Gonna Have A Good Time

Gabriel Fahrenheit, Queen Victoria, H. B. Reese, Tommy Chong, Bob Dylan, Patti LaBelle, Priscilla Presley, Roseanne Cash, Joe Dumars, Tracy McGrady, and me. What does this list of people all have in common? I mean besides being wicked famous, of course. Yep, we all share a birthday. Actually we share today as our birthday. Please forgive my shameless plug of my birthday.

Since it is my birthday I am posting a special birthday song from the world’s greatest band:

Okay, so on tap for today: Indiana Jones, sushi, beer, darts, frivolities and wonderful fellowship. I can’t wait.

To Borrow A Phrase…

JMarz from over at Jason’s World does this thing over at his place called Flashback Friday that I get a kick out of on a weekly basis. This week he posted a nice little video I remember from when Mtv played music videos. This one was of a Hall & Oates classic. I feel like stealing his idea (for just one week, anyway) and posting this video from Loverboy:

I always loved this video because it had all of those old movie clips. I still own my original vinyl of this record. If you ain’t listening to vinyl, you’re not hearing the music!

Lakeside Park

In honor of my favorite holiday, Victoria Day, I give you this video of a song that is about this Canadian holiday which is being celebrated today.

I get a kick out of this video due to all of the Peanuts gang clips. Anyway, I mentioned this last year but I didn’t provide the song I was referring to in the post. Basically, I am a fan of this holiday for several reasons:

1. It is a holiday that celebrates the former Queen of England, Victoria, who reigned from 1837 through her death in 1901. This has been the longest that any English monarch has sat on the throne. (By the way, that DID make me giggle…’sat on the throne’, hehehe.) Queen Victoria and I share a birthday, May 24, the date which this holiday was typically celebrated.

2. This holiday is also one to celebrate the birth of the current Canadian sovereign’s birthday, which so happens to be the British monarch. I have an affinity towards the Brits and would consider myself a Brit in training with all of the BBC we watch, their terminology/words I like to use, I enjoy their music, and the list goes on and on.

3. The aforementioned song by Canadian power trio Rush is one that I have enjoyed since I was in the first grade. I own two vinyl copies of their Caress Of Steel record as well as a CD copy that has this tune. I just always got a giggle out of the fact that this band wrote a song about people gathering and celebrating on my birthday. Granted I have since learned that they were celebrating this holiday and NOT my birthday but it was still cool.

Anyway, have a great today and celebrate a wonderful holiday with our Canadian, Scottish and Cayman brethren.

Dragged Kicking And Screaming Out Of The ’80s

Lately in the LeBlanc household we have had another rebirth of ’80s music. The School Girl is a huge ’80s music fan as am I. I think we own about two dozen of those Time-Life Series CDs on music from the 1980s. These times always prompt conversations like “do you remember such-and-such band?”, etc. Well, I got to thinking about one such group, Christian rockers Stryper. I remember really enjoying their type of hair metal and it is cool that they had such a great message in their music.

This for some reason brings me to the time they decided to stray from their Christian music roots and put out an album that had nothing to do with their faith. This album was called Against The Law and was released at the beginning of the ’90s. I really enjoyed their take on the Earth, Wind & Fire song “Shining Star“:

Of course this record had the obligatory power ballad, “Lady“. I can still remember riding around in the G-Man’s EXP back in that summer blasting this tune around the back roads of The Glade.

Sometimes I wish there were still bands pumping out hair metal tunes. That’s exactly what the world needs now: more ’80s metal!

I Wouldn’t Eat One Of Those

Yesterday the wife and I trekked out to Kroger for a fun time of grocery shopping. We spent a lot of time in and around the produce area prodding the guavas, poking the grapes, sniffing the bananas and squeezing the melons. (I think that sounded sufficiently dirty enough, son’t you?)

Roaming out of sheer boredom I noticed this strange little fellow that I think is called a chayote.

Now I am quite sure that these things are very tasty and good for you. I can’t, however, eat any fruit or vegetable that has an old, wrinkly butt crack.

Has anyone actually tasted these things? Are they worth getting over my fears of fruits with butts? Just asking.

Commencing Towards Commencement

Last evening The School Girl and I traveled to Lighthouse Christian School to watch the high school graduation of my cousin B-Mo. I still can’t get over the fact that he isn’t a little boy anymore, but probably not as much as his mom, Auntie P, can’t believe it. Here are a few shots of the evening’s (3+ hour long) event.

Here B-Mo is doing his best NOT to look excited that this moment has finally arrived.

I wonder how hard it was for Auntie P to hold off on the water-works when she received a rose from her new graduate.

Here is the entire 24 person membership of the Class of 2008. Congratulations to them all.

I don’t think your mom & dad could be prouder of you B-Mo. We are all proud of you. Job well done.

Specter-gate

Before any of you people start on me, yes I admit it. I am a lifelong New England Patriots fan. Yes, I have been embarrassed by this whole “spygate” thing. Please sports fans, you have to admit that it is time for it to go away and let’s start talking about football in the way we should be.

After this past week’s release of the remainder of the video tapes, I thought it was finally going to be over. There was nothing new or special in the lot. There was no “smoking gun” that everyone was expecting. The commissioner has decided to call it a day on the matter and focus on the upcoming season. Then I read this last night:

Sen. Arlen Specter wants an independent investigation of the New England Patriots’ taping of opposing coaches’ signals, similar to the Mitchell Report on performance enhancing drugs in baseball.

Are you serious? The old guy just can’t move on with his life? Is he really that bitter over the Eagles Super Bowl loss? Give me a break. I just couldn’t stand it anymore. At this point we all know that nothing more will come of the “spygate” stuff. It just won’t. By the way, I am not angry because this is my football team. This goes way beyond football or sports in general. Do Senators have nothing better to do with their time and our money?

I decided in my anger last night to write an email to Senator Arlen Specter at his website. Here is a snippet of what I emailed him:

I am not sure if you will actually read this or not. This is the first time I have ever taken the time to send anything to a Senator. I realize that you are not from my home state of Tennessee but I felt compelled to write. With all of the important issues facing Americans today including housing, gasoline, the war, and not to mention the economy and upcoming election, why would tax payer money and government time be wasted with continuing an investigation into the NFL’s New England Patriots and the league itself? It is time to move on and focus on things that are truly important to the country. I am a huge sports fan myself and appreciate getting to the bottom of an important issue such as cheating but please it is time to focus on the issues.

I was quite proud of myself. There was nothing fancy in it. I wasn’t rude, just to the point. I waited with baited breath to read the form email that I expected to receive. I didn’t expect this:

I receive a large volume of E-mails, phone calls, faxes and letters every week from concerned citizens like yourself.
Unfortunately, due to the high volume of mail, I can only respond if you’re a resident of Pennsylvania.

This was part of the response I got in my form email from the Senator. Yep, it tells me in no uncertain terms that because I am not from his home state I have nothing important to say even though he is wasting the time and cash of ALL Americans not just Pennsylvanians.

Well, I am off to Bob Corker’s and Lamar Alexander’s websites to pass my feelings along to them. I can’t say I actually believe I will be heard. Please guys let’s focus on stuff that matters to a majority of this country’s citizens. I mean really Mr. Specter, what do you really get out of this proposed investigation? We all know that you MUST be getting something. You are a politician.