Somebody Tell My Family To Keep A Low Profile

I get Google Alerts sent to my email for my name just to see if it becomes popular or something. This evening I received an alert with the following title:

Leprechaun Opens Car Door For Pantless Man

You don’t read that everyday now do you? I was dismayed to continue on and see that the pantless man’s name was Kim LeBlanc. How lovely.

Investigators said LeBlanc told them he had done drugs and believed that a leprechaun had let him into the car.

Is anyone else curious as to why he was sans pants? You may read the entire story here.

As far as I know this character is not related to me at all nor do I even have family from the state of Ohio. It isn’t enough that jokes are made about my rifle dropping, head rolling brethren, but now I have to put up with this guy, too.

Fit To Be Tied

I had to run into the local Wal-Mart tonight after work. Yes I know, all I ever do about my trips there is complain. I understand. It is like a drug. It is like a siren’s song. You get the picture.

First of all, when I pulled into the parking lot I saw this:

Words cannot express how this vehicle makes me feel.

Okay, among other items I really needed some new shoelaces before mine broke and made my shoes go all floppy on my feet. Obviously, one would assume that the shoelaces would reside in the shoe department. One would be correct. One would not assume, however that the normal laces would be hidden in a back corner.

I walked up to the shoe department to find prominently displayed in two areas near the front, separate sections of laces. The first set of laces were the ones that were big and poofy and neon colors. The second set of laces were the ones that looked like pasta and were all squigly. None of these would look good with my brown work shoes.

I actually had to get a very nice female employee to page the person who was supposed to be working in shoes to point out that the normal black and brown colored laces were hidden in the back corner near the big doors that lead into the stock room. I should have known.

I felt like the old guy who wanders around stores with the glassed over eyes begging for assistance.